Thursday, October 29, 2015

Phil's Halloween Horror Watch: THE GALLOWS (2015) from Warner Bros. Pictures-October 29, 2015

THE GALLOWS Blu-Ray (2015)
Starring: Reese Mishler, Pfeifer Brown, Ryan Shoos, Cassidy Gifford
Screenwriters: Travis Cluff & Chris Lofing
Cinematographer: Edd Lukas
Directors: Travis Cluff & Chris Lofing
Production Companies: Blumhouse Productions, New Line Cinema, Management 360, Tremendum Pictures
Distributor: Warner Brothers Pictures

Have you noticed that horror movies aren't very scary anymore? Seriously, when the hell did that happen? The majority of horror films coming out from the major studios have been atrocious. They aren't scary, they're mind numbingly boring, enormously unoriginal and just repeat the same schtick over and over and over again. A perfect example is the found footage style movie. Ever since THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT was released back in 1999 (holy crap has it been that long?!?), every Tom, Dick, and Mary have ripped off that style of filmmaking. And for some reason it's still being used to this very day. Want proof of this? Well look no further that the awful and not-so-scary horror film THE GALLOWS from Warner Brothers Pictures.

The film's official synopsis: Twenty years after an accident during a small town high school play results in death, students at the school resurrect the failed stage production in a misguided attempt to honor the anniversary of the tragedy - but ultimately find out that some things are better left alone.

Ok where do I start here? I mentioned it wasn't scary, correct? Ok just making sure. Did I mention that it's a stupid found footage style movie? Oh I said that too, huh? Well alright then. Ok how about this: did I mention it was unoriginal, uninspiring and unimaginably boring? Yup, I went there.

Theatrical Movie Poster (2015)
As you may or may not know, the trailer made it look super scary. You have footage of the film looking like it was made for us horror fanatics. Horrorfyingly creepy, teens screaming for their lives, unseen killer stalking them one by one. It looked genuinely scary. So my question is what the hell happened? How can the trailer be scarier and better than the film itself?!? Good grief Charlie Brown! I was expecting to be entertained and be creeped out and scared and all those fun emotions that we experience when we view a horror film. Instead I was looking at my phone a lot wondering when this sorry excuse of a horror movie was over so I can watch a good horror movie! 

So what was wrong with the movie exactly? Well besides all the good stuff was in the trailer and the found footage look is so over and I wish filmmakers would stop using it, the movie was very predicable, acting was about as good as a high school theater production (which is ironic since it takes place in a high school theater department), characters were so thin I could see through them and they were annoying me to death. Yes, I was cheering on their deaths. You seriously cannot blame me. If you saw the movie you'd do the same. Admit it! Admit it!! You better say yes dammit!!

The movie was "directed" by Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing. The reason I mention them is that I blame them for the hour and half I lost when I watched their movie. They also wrote the film as well, so I'm holding them personally responsible for this whole thing being made. Really guys? You two actually thought that you were making a good movie? Let alone a good horror movie? Ok I have not seen the short films you guys have done together but couldn't either one of you come up with a better plot? Or at least fleshed it out more so it reads like an intelligent monkey wrote it? And why the found footage style? Don't you guys know better? Horror fans don't want to see that anymore. It's been done to death. We're over it and it's time to move on.

Now hard to believe that Blumhouse Production helped make this piece of crap. Jason Blum has made some awesome films within the genre like THE PURGE series, the SINISTER series and the last film I reviewed THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN. Despite all the negative reviews, the film grossed a staggering $38.2 million dollars! Consider that fact that the film's budget was only a measly $100,000 so there was a huge profit made from this. But still Jason, please pick better project to greenlight next time!

THE GALLOWS is one of the wort horror films to released in 2015 so far. This movie was so bad I don't even want to rate it, just because it hurt me so damn bad. Literally, watching this movie made me violently ill and I had to vomit. Skip this film all together my fellow horrorhounds! 1 out of 5 stars!! Avoid this like the plague!!

THE GALLOWS is available on both DVD, BLU-Ray and on Video On Demand. To learn more about Blumhouse Productions visit their website at

Thanks for reading and enjoy the show!

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