Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Phil sees INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE from 20th Century Fox - July 12,2016

When INDEPENDENCE DAY opened back in 1996, it became the biggest summer blockbuster of that year. Director Michael Bay was riding high and soon there was talk of a sequel, but that was all it was: just talk. Now, twenty years later, INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE has finally arrived and fans have of the original have been waiting with anticipation. Would it be memorable? Would it live up to the hype? Would it be as good as the first film? To be honest, that would be a big fat "No" to all three questions.

Theatrical Movie Poster
The film's official synopsis: We always knew they were coming back. After INDEPENDENCE DAY redefined the event movie genre, the next epic chapter delivers global spectacle on an unimaginable scale. Using recovered alien technology, the nations of Earth have collaborated on an immense defense program to protect the planet. But nothing can prepare us for the aliens’ advanced and unprecedented force. Only the ingenuity of a few brave men and women can bring our world back from the brink of extinction.

Now instead of doing my usual review, I thought it would more informative and educational (not to mention hilariously fun) to list everything that was wrong with the movie, and believe me folks there were a lot of things wrong! Consider this a lesson in film critique 101. So let's begin, shall we class?

1) The filmmakers waited way too long to make the sequel.
2) The movie was totally rushed.
3) We're bombarded with characters we don't care about.
4) All special effects and no real story.
5) Hold on a sec, was there even a story?
6) Will Smith wasn't in it. I'm perfectly fine with that.
7) Even though Michael Bay didn't direct this, it still has the typical stereotypes and barrage of military shots.
8) Another Bay trademark are all the product placements. 
9) Buy American! Buy a Chevy!
10) Ok I remember now. No, there wasn't a story.
11) Actress Patricia Whitmore, who played the President's daughter Mae Whitman in the first film, was recast with Maika Monroe because the filmmakers felt that she wasn't pretty enough. Booo!! I call bullshit on that decision!!
12) Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Vivica A. Fox, Bret Spiner and Judd Hirsh are back and their characters are as two-dimensional as in the original.
13) Liam Hemsworth can't act. Stop trying to make him a star. He's not. Just stop it people.
14) Jessie T. Usher tries to be like Will Smith in the film but he just falls flat on his face.
15) OMG why am I still watching this piece of crap!
16) The Queen Alien in this movie looked a lot like the Queen Alien from ALIENS. I smell a lawsuit coming on. Just saying.
17) Good grief this movie sucks!
18) Sela Ward plays the President of the United States in the film and she gets killed. Thank you Hollywood for that misogynistic statement. I feel sorry for Hilary Clinton if she wins the presidency in November.
19) Holy crap this movie is long!!
20) Director Roland Emmerich's previous work includes 2012, WHITE HOUSE DOWN and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. See a theme here people?!?
21) The end credits were the best part of the movie.

So, in conclusion, INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE is a total piece of crap of a film and a total waste of your time and money! Seriously, I don't think you should rent it when it comes out! Kids, just say no to bad, overblown Hollywood sequels. 2 out of 5 stars!

INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE is currently playing in both 2D and 3D in theaters nationwide, including the Century Greenback 16 in Sacramento. Check your local listing to see if it is playing at a theater near you.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy the show! 

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